It can be understandably difficult for surrounding family members and friends to know what to do or say when a friend or loved one is diagnosed with cancer. Survivors and family members provide perspective on what was meaningful to them while they were in the midst of treatment.

What were your favorite gifts in the hospital?

Jeannette

I really enjoyed getting things that could help me keep my mind off of the illness. For example interactive type games, crossword puzzles, scrapbooks, photo albums, a diary (for the good and bad days), sketch books with crayons and art supplies, needle point, books to read (although I didn't feel like reading very much), stationary and stickers to send letters, and anything humorous to make me laugh. Music was something I didn't get, but would have been nice for the many days where rest was the only thing that sounded good. I also really, really LOVED it when people would bring me FOOD from outside places, that is when I was up to eating. I got pretty sick of the hospital food.

Why was it important to you to have people call, visit, write, etc?

Jeannette

Being in the hospital for extended periods of time, (in my case 7 months) I really became lonely and felt isolated from the outside world. In the beginning I received so many cards...to the point of being almost overwhelming at times. But I know after the initial news of someone's illness, people often get busy with their own lives again and soon forget. After a few months the cards, etc. started to trickle off and this is when I remember feeling the loneliest. Cards, phone calls, visits are so important even if the patient isn't up to talking. It's just nice to know you're not alone.

What did people do to help your family?

Jeannette

People were so helpful in so many ways. My mom was with me in the hospital the entire duration of my illness, so the rest of my family had to take on a lot of the day to day responsibilities that my mom usually did. I know not having her there was very hard in more ways than one. Our neighbors and friends not only took turns doing the laundry, but they also took turns making my family dinner during the week days. I know this was very helpful. They also helped out with rides to come visit me and with various other errands. It was the little things that really helped out besides all the prayers and the support they gave by simply listening.

What kinds of things did people say or do that were helpful?

Jeannette

I loved it when my family and friends would come and visit and talk to me about the outside world...what they were doing...the latest at school. We would joke around and go for walks or car rides when I was able to. I loved ordering out and having food brought in to munch on (when food sounded good).. I liked to talk about when I got out and what we would do. We never used the word IF, only WHEN. I loved to laugh and have smiles surround me...anything to make me feel NORMAL, like me...not sick, or a patient.

What kinds of things did people say that were or were not supportive?

Jeannette

I realize for many people it is hard to know what to say. But I really DID like it when people openly asked questions. It made me nervous when I could tell that they were uncomfortable, and I sometimes just wanted to shout out and say, "What's on your mind. I'm Jeannette and you know me...don't be scared!!" It helped when they asked questions initially to get that out of the way, and then we could move on to other things. If they didn't ask soon after they arrived, or if I didn't bring it up, I felt like we couldn't be ourselves and their curiosity and nervousness stayed with us.

Leukemia (AML)
Diagnosed at 12
Now 27